I have been thinking for days and weeks to write this testimony. It is not because I don’t know what to write. In fact, it is how I should express the years of blessings that God had showered on me. Every moment of sorrow and joy he is with me. Every time I fall and cry He will pick me and comfort me. He encourages me throughout my 9 years of Christian pilgrimage.
I was introduced into FERC at the age of 10 by my cousin, Kim Fong. I remember attending Sunday School and going home after that. I simply find this a boring routine. I dread going to Church and soon, I gave up. I didn’t find it beneficial at all, especially when it comes to prayer. But of course, according to my Sunday School teachers they claimed that we were talking to God. Talking to God? How can we? Don’t we have to bum joss stick and incense paper in order to do that? How can they be sure that God hears our prayer? How can Sunday Worship be so simple? I remember taking a lot of troubles worshipping “da bai gong” and other idols.
Gradually, my doubts began to accumulate but nobody helped me with it, so I backslide. During my 3 years of backsliding, I was taught a very valuable lesson – life without God is void. Ever since the time I “accepted” Christ, I was already conscious of God’s existence and would turn to Him in times of troubles. I prayed every night just for the sake of praying. Hence, when I left FERC I never thought of looking for another church for fear that I would fall into cult groups.
I had no idea where I was heading. I felt life a void. By the grace of God, Johnson’s family visited my family one new year. I was very happy to see them because I know they are Christians and I was hoping that they would invite me back to Church again. Frankly, after so many years of backsliding, I wanted very much to go back to church, but on second thought, I feared that my Sunday School teachers and friends would be indifferent towards me. However, by the perfect will of God, I received their warm invitation. I was jumping with joy and that night I made my first sincere prayer.
Ever since then, I became more sober as a Christian. I was also becoming sensitive and conscious about whatever I say and do. I realized the importance of God in my life and began to observe the Ten Commandments. I felt that I should thank God for the precious lesson He had taught me. If it was not the 3 years without Him, I would not have realized that I was too weak to depend on myself. I really felt everything going against me no matter how much of effort I put in.
But now I am going to be part of FERC and almost immediately this verse came to my mind, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Rom. 8:28) I find myself involved in some of the church’s activities like, babysitting and leading in the Pre-worship singing, I hope to serve God in any area He opens to me. Who knows, by the providence of God, I may discover my spiritual gifts.
Ten men were healed, but only one gave thanks. How prone we are to be like the other nine. We are anxious to receive but too careless to give thanks. We pray for God s intervention in our lives, then congratulate ourselves rather than God for the results.
-The Practice of Godliness – by Jerry Bridges, Navpress 1983