I’ve come to know the Lord for more than two and the half years. Before becoming a Christian, I was a free-thinker. So much so that I (together with some classmates) made fun of Christians in school. Never did it occur to me that the very person I made fun of will be made used of by the Lord to introduce me to the Christian faith.
In 1990, I began to develop some interest in the New Testament. After reading through some of the books (mainly the Gospels) I felt that I was not benefiting. I called up this ex-classmate of mine (the Lord has placed her in the same college as myself) to bring me to her church. Though it was a charismatic church, I stand in awe to the glory and majesty of God on high. However, the frequent healings and tongue speaking made me think twice about my faith. I left the church towards the end of 1990. Thank God that a JC classmate brought me to the Evangelical Reformed Church through the Youth Gospel Meeting. I began to be a regular worshipper since Jan. 1991.
Though I “made the decision” to follow Christ and said the sinners’ prayer on 31 May 1990, I found myself to continue walking in sin and unrepentant. I continue to enjoy the world: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. My life was very un-Christian! Elder Siew began to give me Bible Study on the first book of John from March ’91. I began to see my sins more and more and I felt very unworthy to be called a Christian.
Then persecution came. My brother returned from further studies and my mother told him about my faith (my mother had been tolerating my ‘rebellious ways’). She increased the frequency of bringing me to worship the idols. One day in July-Aug., I left school without following her instruction to burn joss-sticks. How the Lord provided me with the strength, I do not know. To my relief, nothing happened that night.
However, when I returned home from church the following Sunday, my brother questioned me. He asked me whether my future is more important or going to Church is more important. (I was in the midst of my pilgrims). Without hesitating, I answered that church is more important. He fumed with anger. In my desperation, I paged a church member, and the conversation managed to calm him down. Subsequently, there was no objection to me going to church on Sunday without my examinations. To ensure this, I work doubly hard during the week. (I was a very lazy student).
Having to stand for my faith through persecution has strengthened my faith. I began to see my sins more and more and God’s guiding hand. I see that He is controlling all things for our benefit. I re-consecrated my life to the Lord the same year.
Having new directions/interest (or rather genuine interest) in the faith does not mean that there is no more problems. I have to constantly struggle against sin. For most of last year, I was very defeated in my struggle. However, the Lord has showed me that I am only a sinner, saved by grace. I came to realize that throughout this life, no matter how hard I try, I will never by my good works earn my salvation. It has been done of me on the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. With this conviction, I began to fight against sin and triumph over it.
I am thankful to the Lord for placing me in my current National Service vocation, and in thankfulness, I wish to give of my free time to serve Him. Thus, I kept myself busy serving in various ministry.
Then the Lord tested my faith. My father passed away on 17 Feb. this year. Many questions came to my mind. Have I done my best for the Lord? Will I face pressure to participate in ancestral worship? The Lord brought me out of this wonderfully. Firstly, He sent brothers and sisters in Christ to comfort me and encourage me in the faith. I gathered enough courage to tell my mother about my position. Amazingly, she agreed. Praise the Lord! I also find that, out of thankfulness, I began to love my family more. I began to see the understanding side of them.
My baptism is coming and I am thrilled by that prospect. I earnestly pray that the Lord will work in my mother that she will have no objection to that.
*This testimonial was taken from the bulletin of the First Evangelical Reformed Church, date April 11, 1993. We thank brother Tan Bak Wei for letting us publish it.